A Stranger in My Own Home
by Vilio
Summary: Arwen's story about starting her life in Gondor, and the stuggles she went through.
1. Struggle

I do not own LOTR.

Listlessly she sat on a stone bench in one of the more unknown gardens surrounding the palace, letting the warm summer breeze gently caress her face and hair, and bringing with it the sweet fragrance of the tree's summer blossoms. This was the only time since arriving to this city, not but two days prior, she had been able to find total peace, from the constant and not so pleasant attention she received.

People from all over had flooded Gondor, the peoples of Rohan, Dol Amroth as well as others, and with the arrival of the new King the festivities and celebrations had become nearly a nightly affair for months before her arrival. The last few she had attended were not hard to deal with since she had the company of Estel, her brothers, her father and a few others, but during the day when they were out gallivanting with Legolas, or in meetings with Estel was when it became difficult.

It was during this time she was surrounded by ladies and nobles from all of the visiting human realms and kingdoms, and yet even with all of them, she felt very much alone.

She had tried to talk with the nobles and ladies of the court upon her arrival in Gondor, and in their defense they had tried to be polite, knowing what was soon to be her station, but the conversations died quickly, as many of them really had nothing to say...or nothing they could say that would not be construed as rude. So they resorted to not saying anything to her and just staring when they thought she was unaware and could not see them, but she saw the looks they gave her, and heard the whispers they thought that she could not hear.

"_It is unnatural for a creature to be that beautiful, it is almost frightening."_

"_With a beauty such as hers, why does she not marry one of her own kind? Why would she want to lower herself to a human? The King may be of Numenorian decent, but he is still human."_

"_Perhaps her only desire is to become Queen."_

"_Why, to make the rest of us feel more insignificant?! To show us how superior the Eldar are to our mere race?!"_

"_It has been said that she is the most fair of her kind; could she not be a Queen of the firstborns?"_

"_It is also rumored that she has human blood."_

"_Look at her, does anything about her look human to you?"_

"_Shh! Have you not heard that their kind have unusual powers? Keen eyes that see all in the darkest night and ears that can hear a baby breathe from nearly a league away. Most likely she is able to hear what we are now saying."_

"_Aye, I have heard that those creatures can walk on water, and fly from tree to tree if they so choose."_

Creatures?! That is what they thought of her and the other Elves?! She heard all that was said, the rumors and myths of her people. If they would have just come to her and asked, she would have told them all the truth about herself, the Elves and of why she was marrying Estel, gladly... but the Ladies of Gondor would never and did never ask. They seemed to be more content whispering amongst them, spreading false truths about her and her people.

Arwen chided herself. She knew that she should be happy at such a time as this. Sauron was defeated, the future of Middle-earth looked promising, and she...she was to wed a man she loved more than life itself. Even with all of these promises of happiness, her heart was heavy.

It was not that she regretted her choice to be with Estel. She loved him so much it was almost painful, and the thought of not being with him was more horrifying to her than death. It had nearly killed her when she thought that he had abandoned his love for her before taking his leave with the fellowship. The excruciating pain of that near rejection was soul wrenching and still caught her breath at the memory of it.

She knew these problems with the people of the court to be frivolous and juvenile, to worry about what others thought about her. The ladies were young compared to her, they really did not realize what they were saying, she knew this....reminded herself of this, but it did not ease the sting of the small wounds those talebearer's rumors left her with.

This was the first time in her life that Arwen felt utterly alone. She could not go to Estel with this problem. It would hurt him terribly to think that she was unhappy, and it could again make him regret his decision to bind his life to hers.

Her brothers and father were out of the question as well. At the first sign of unhappiness, the three would have her on the soonest ship to Valinor.

She could always speak with Legolas, he would understand, but Arwen did not want to trouble him with her problems. She had heard from Elladan how the weight and worries of the war was on her old friend, making the once happy elf seem grim. Now that the war was over, and he had received word that the tower of Dol Guldur was no more, its presences no longer infecting the forests of Mirkwood with darkness.

Her Grandfather led Lorien in an attack on the tower. During which her Grandmother's power destroyed it cleansing the forest of its once ever present shadow. And thus Thranduil bestowed the new name of Eryn Lasgalen on the former forest of Mirkwood. This wonderful news of this victory, along with the destruction of the ring made Legolas the happy Elf he normally was, and Arwen wanted to keep it that way.

* * *

Arwen watched through her window as the evening stars began to fade into day. The crisp morning air and the songs of the birds gave a welcoming promise to the day ahead. Today would be better, she promised herself as she sat in front of her vanity mirror and began to brush her hair. 

She paused her brushing mid stroke, and stared at her reflection. She had always hated her face, but more so since arriving in Gondor than ever before. In the Elven realms she had similar problems, not to the extent as in this city, but even within her homes of Imladris and Lorien the elves treated her differently.

Arwen never had many friends, the females were unsure of how to react to her, and the males seemed intimidated, not solely by her beauty, but by also by her brothers. The twins made it clear that if any Elves wanted to court Arwen, they would have to first go through them. This protectiveness did not bother her much, as she really did not care for the majority of the Elves that showed any interest, due to the nature of their said interest being usually false, and that they were more likely concerned in having the Evenstar as a trophy or in using her to raise their social status.

She had chosen a mortal life. Why could she not look more like one?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the chamber door.

"I have been sent to attend to you my lady, "said a young girl as, she entered the chamber. Upon seeing Arwen the girl froze suddenly, her eyes growing wide as a look of fear crossed her features.

Arwen smiled at the young girl. "I am glad for the help; for it seems that I am all thumbs with arranging my hair in the Gondorian fashion."

The girl said nothing only stared at the Elf lady sitting before her.

"Please do not be frightened, I will not harm you," Arwen said, as she stood and began to approach the chamber maid. The smile falling from her face as she saw the girl take a step away from her.

Her heart broke. 'I even scare the maids!' Her mind screamed at her. Arwen swallowed a sob she felt growing in her throat, and looked at the terrified girl unsure of what to do. Knowing that it would be unlikely for the girl to warm up to her, she made her decision.

Arwen sighed, closed her eyes and dropped her head. "I release you of your duties, you may go."

The girl could not seem to get out of the chamber fast enough. She nearly stumbled twice on her way out the door. Arwen saw none of this, but she could hear it.

She stood there unmoving long after the click of the door was heard, trying to control the tears that were coursing freely down her face. Finally losing the battle she threw herself onto her bed and wept.


	2. Peace

2-Peace

A bright green leaf spun lazily towards the ground, followed shortly by another, and still another. All landing at the booted feet of the Prince of Eryn Lasgalen. The Prince looked up in the trees and called out.

"What obscene plague is this that has infested this mighty tree? Autumn is not yet upon us, and it's leaves still young and green, and yet here they fall before me!"

The leaves suddenly stopped falling, and there was silence for a moment before a small nut or acorn flew from the branches hitting the Prince in the head, making a small hollow knocking sound.

Legolas started slightly surprised, before he rubbed the spot where the nut had hit. "I was unaware that the trees of Gondor were so ill-tempered, as to throw their acorns at poor unsuspecting persons while they passed on their merry way through the gardens."

Four more acorns flew out of the branches. Legolas managed to avoid all but one, which hit him also in the head, echoing the sound of the first. The Prince narrowed his eyes at the tree.

"A great pity it is then," Legolas called up. "For a great warrior, I was hailed as, when first I arrived in this fair city. A great warrior who fought and survived the most foulest of horrors, only to be felled by the most foulest tempered tree."

There was nothing but silence for awhile, and Legolas was about to turn away a leave, when an apple came hurtling down hitting him in the shoulder. He managed to turn quickly and catch the apple before it hit the ground. He looked at it strangely for a moment before shrugging and then taking a large bite.

"That was my lunch you great Orc!"

Legolas smiled at the tree. "What is this? The tree has a voice that's sound rivals that of finest music, yet has a personality that could rival even the grumpiest Dwarf!"

"Oh Legolas, can you not stop speaking?" An exasperated voice called down.

The Prince ran up to the tree ginning, and quickly began to climb through it's branches. It didn't take him long before he came face to face with Arwen. "May I ask why the future Queen of Gondor has taken up residence in a tree?"

Arwen narrowed her eyes. "You may not."

"Then I shall be forced to take more drastic measures, and serenade you until you bend in your decision. I warn you milady we wood Elves can sing for days." Legolas opened his mouth to sing, but promptly shut it when he saw evidence of tears on his friends face.

"Undomiel?" He asked in a low voice, as concern flooded his features. She said nothing, but sat staring sadly at the ground. He touched her softly on the arm. "What is it my friend?"

A large sob escaped from Arwen, releasing with it a flood of tears, as she threw her self into his arms, staying their sobbing into his tunic and soaking it. Legolas looked worriedly down at the top of his childhood friend's head. Arwen just shook her head and continued to sob. Unsure of what else to do Legolas began to stroke her hair and murmur soothing things in her ear.

After a while Arwen's crying lessoned, until there was nothing but silence. Legolas waited for a moment, noticing that her breathing had become regular and deep, but when she neither moved nor said anything he shifted her head slightly to see her face. Finding her asleep as he had originally suspected, he scooped her up securely in his arms before dropping gracefully from the tree, and bringing her back to the palace.

Once in her chambers he tucked her into bed, slightly amazed with the fact that she had not awoken on the way from the tree to the room. He looked down at his friends beautiful face and brushed away a stray hair.

"I know not what troubles your heart my friend, but what ever ails it, know that I will help you to find it's peace." He walked to the chair at the opposite end of the room and sat down to watch and wait for Arwen to wake, so that she could tell him what was bothering her.

* * *

The feeling of a comfortable warmth spread throughout Legolas, as he began to wake from his sleep. He blinked a few times to get the sleep out of his eyes and then looked at his surroundings curiously. He was still in Arwen's room, but she was no longer there. He looked down to see that she had covered him with her blanket before she left.

Legolas's eyebrows rose. "A great warrior indeed," he mocked himself. He had spent the last year always completely aware of his surroundings whether awake or asleep. He could hear how far the night creatures were to their camp or if Gimli, Aragorn or the Hobbits had just rolled over in their sleep, nothing had been able to get past him. Though now he finds that the friend that he was watching over had not only left but covered him with a heavy blanket before doing so.

He stood and stretched, as he looked out the window seeing dark skies. Evening already! For how long had he slept?! He swore at himself in a few choice words that Gimli had taught him, before leaving quickly and setting out to find Arwen.

* * *

Arwen walked through the palace grounds watching as the stars began to glow brighter in the sky. The moon glowed silver against the skies deep blue black , and its light reflected on the stone walls and buildings that surrounded her making them too glow silver. Though the buildings were not as breathtakingly beautiful as the ones in her Elven homes, these still had an impressive grandeur about them, and the moonlight that they were now bathed in made them seem all the more majestic.

She sighed slightly as her mind began to drift back towards the previous happenings since her arrival in the city, and she finally came to a realization. She was to blame. She had lived for nearly three thousand years and yet knew nothing of the ways of man, save what she had read in books She had been very sheltered all her long life, never experiencing anything beyond the borders of the three Elven realms.

Never before did she have dealings with humans. In fact the only human that she had ever had constant dealings with was Estel. Maybe if she had pressed her father to let her experience the company of humans more... maybe this could possible have been avoided. Her mind thought all this, but she knew in her heart that it was not so.

Nothing would have changed.

Arwen's hands gripped the top of the short wall in front of her. How could she possibly be a good Queen to these people? They could hardly handle looking at her let alone trust her. The incident with the maid this morning proved that. How could she help lead a people whose trust she did not have? What if their feelings towards her never changed? She shuddered. What of Estel? Would he regret making her his Queen? How then would she handle living here? Her mortal life could easily last over one hundred years!

Arwen stood stunned by the thought that just crossed her mind. For the first time in her life a hundred years felt like nearly an eternity. She closed her eyes and shook her head lightly, trying to clear the ridiculous thoughts. A hundred years was nothing to her... and yet this was not the first time she realized that if she were faced with living a hundred years either with out Estel, or with his regret, the passage of time for that mere one hundred years would be excruciating.

She was lost in her thoughts when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, suddenly engulfing her in the feeling of safety and warmth. Arwen closed her eyes again and smiled softly. She leaned her back fully against the broad chest behind her, while moving her head back even further so that the side of her head rested on the bottom of his cheek. The scruff of a rough beard tickled her skin, but for some reason it was one of the most soothing feelings in the world. All of her stresses, all of her self doubts, seemed to literally melt from her being with the warmth of the embrace.

She sighed slightly with relief. She knew that passing the years living in regret would not be her fate. She had the love of Estel, and at this moment she would have faced spending a hundred years of imprisonment in a dark cage, if it meant she could have him hold her like this.

* * *

Hidden in the shadows of a balcony above, a pair of keen blue eyes watched the two lovers secure in their embrace. Their owner smiled softly to himself, happy, that at least for this moment his friend had found her peace.

* * *

AN: Thanks for all the reviews. I promise Arwen will find a friend besides Legolas soon. As far as Arwen not being able to go to Valinor because of her being a mortal... Ahh, not so young grasshopper. Gimli, Bilbo, Sam and Frodo, all were mortals yet gained access to the Blessed Realm, and being that she was of a powerful lineage, I do not think that she would have been shot on sight or turned away had she wanted to go to Aman, even if she was a mortal.

The book says that Arwen gave her place on the ship to Valinor to Frodo as a gift, yet she did not bestow this on any of the other three that went. It could be said that because Gimli, Sam and Frodo actually played an intricate part in saving Middle-earth and that this was their reward, that they were allowed entrance. But what then of Bilbo? He helped the Dwarves and people of Laketown with a dragon, but as far as the ring goes, he stole it from Gollum and just carried it with him for many years. The books says that the three hobbits went because they were Ring-bearers. But then what of Gimli? How did he go? And why did Merry, Pippin and Aragorn not go? Maybe if you are not an Elf, you have to be below a certain height to gain entrance, and Pippin and Merry did drink the Entwash, hmmm...

Do you have a headache yet? I do.

What was I talking about...Oh yeah Arwen.

I was also unsure if she became mortal when she fell in love with him or actually married him. The book says that "her choice was made and her doom appointed," when they met for the second time in Caras Galadhon. I am not quite sure on whether it meant at that moment..wham...she became mortal or if it happened later, after she was to wed Aragorn.

Okay, now I am done with my insane rant...

I did go through the chapter and I think that I did catch all my mistakes, and corrected them...I think. For some reason my brain has to leave the story for a day or so before I can find my errors. One track mind or something...

Go raibh maith agat! (Thank you, in Gaelic)


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